How much pain must be suffered

Before it's admitted as real

Or substantial enough for attention

But it's better not to feel


Seeking attention is the greatest sin

At least that's what I've been told

It's in the eyes of those unwilling ears

Somehow detatched and cold


One day you'll see that look one too many times

The look that says "You're not special.

Bury your pain and and join the crowd.

If it's no tragedy

It's just incidental."

And you'll say

"What the hell"

And let it slide down like bile


It must meet certain standards to be recognized

Your only safe course is denial


Somehow it never goes away

But washes around inside

Getting heavier

And with each passing day

As each choked off tear goes uncried

It turns into lead

A venomous weight

That drags the world subtly towards death


But it's much too painful to take seriously

And much too serious to acknowledge

To do so is a cry

You must never cry

Because then you're an attention seeker

And then the pain's not real.


Death would bring legitimacy

But only weaklings commit suicide

Sometimes you want to explode

But to take someone with you means you've obliterated all

But the negative in whatever you've been or done.


Pray for the lead to drag you down

Under the world




Flicker on the liquid

As it floats up past your eyes

Go under to blackness



GS 1/90


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