How much pain must be suffered
Before it's admitted as real
Or substantial enough for attention
But it's better not to feel
Seeking attention is the greatest sin
At least that's what I've been told
It's in the eyes of those unwilling ears
Somehow detatched and cold
One day you'll see that look one too many times
The look that says "You're not special.
Bury your pain and and join the crowd.
If it's no tragedy
It's just incidental."
And you'll say
"What the hell"
And let it slide down like bile
It must meet certain standards to be recognized
Your only safe course is denial
Somehow it never goes away
But washes around inside
Getting heavier
And with each passing day
As each choked off tear goes uncried
It turns into lead
A venomous weight
That drags the world subtly towards death
But it's much too painful to take seriously
And much too serious to acknowledge
To do so is a cry
You must never cry
Because then you're an attention seeker
And then the pain's not real.
Death would bring legitimacy
But only weaklings commit suicide
Sometimes you want to explode
But to take someone with you means you've obliterated all
But the negative in whatever you've been or done.
Pray for the lead to drag you down
Under the world
Now
Dying
Reflections
Flicker on the liquid
As it floats up past your eyes
Go under to blackness
Drown
GS 1/90