In my mind I see
Black sunsets
Falling on the fields
In my mind I see
Eternities
And dream cities of everlasting night.
In my mind I see
Scattered starfire
Blazing distantly in the twilight sky.
In my heart I feel
The loneliness of death
And the nights that lie beyond.
In my mind I see
Bright visions of darkness
That dwells within my very soul
Consuming darkness
Inhabiting my origin,
Devouring me whole.
I feel as if I'm turning into everything I hate.
I will not accept this monstrosity
and take it as my fate.
I'm getting what I always wanted,
But the darkness is undaunted;
I'm so busy fighting to keep my mind in one piece
That what I once sought for comfort
is no longer a release.
I tried to believe I'd been making something
out of nothing,
Creating monsters out of thin air;
But they continue to haunt me
And flaunt me as a symbol of their power:
"Once his own, now he is ours".
Playing games within the context of time,
They continue to program and re-arrange my mind,
Until I've become the horrors I once dreamt of.
They play with my destiny,
Try to re-route the path I've chosen to take in life;
I seek freedom from hatred, competition and strife,
Incredible beauty and sanity and order.
I live insecure, for I live on the border
Between this world and the next
In the land where every nightmare comes true.
Watch well where you wander, for next time
It may be you.
In my mind I see black sunsets
Falling on the fields;
In my mind I see eternities
And dream cities of everlasting night;
In my mind I see scattered starfire
Blazing distantly in the twilight sky;
In my heart I feel the loneliness of death
And the nights that lie beyond.
G.S. 6/3/81
photo: GS, from 2 superimposed photos by Ken Zelinka